Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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