Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
