Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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