no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
