you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize