so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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