is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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