ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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