I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
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I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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