Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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