I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
