Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
