Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i barfeds in our rink
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
