I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
