don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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