i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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