Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
