just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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