at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
