Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
