No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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