If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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