some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
sex in a hospital.. check
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
