i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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