it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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