Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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