I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
