need another drink. this is the easiest way
Me. At least after what I've been through.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
