WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
