i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize