everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
