This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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