you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
