White coat. Heels.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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