we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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