I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
