that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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