Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.