I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".