apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?