Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh