it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
