Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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