ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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