Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
