I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
