sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
