This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
