i don't like sucking hair
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
