i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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