If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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