It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
