There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would ride that face into the sunset
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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