member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im holly from the hills drunk
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think my moral compass just broke
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
