He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
