found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
