That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
