"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
