Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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