Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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