yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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