I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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