as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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