I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
