I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize