we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
