he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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