Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
