come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think your dad took our porno
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
