what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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