He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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