I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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