So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
