i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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